


Left Behind

by jebbypal



Series: The Grandparent Series [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-22
Updated: 2006-04-22
Packaged: 2017-10-07 08:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jebbypal/pseuds/jebbypal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam always wants to know why Dean follows the old man's orders.  That's a story Dean will never tell him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Left Behind

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This bunny originated with ignipes's story, [Remnant of an Original Craziness We Can Hardly Remember](http://ignipes.livejournal.com/77182.html#cutid1) I told her I wondered what John Winchester's parents thought about the way the kids grew up and that took root in my brain. I can't see a four year old taking care of an infant and I can't see John dragging an infant into danger or leaving him with sitters for days on end. So this is my explanation. Feedback welcome.

Sam always asks why Dean blindly follows Dad's orders. He asked when he was a kid, and he won't stop asking now.

Once, Dean didn't really remember the reason. "Because it keeps us safe," worked well enough for him. Except then, life decided to start reminding him why.

First Sam left and it all came rushing back. The fear. The uncertainty. The days on end of wondering if this was going to be the time that he picked up the phone to call someone, anyone, and ask them to come and pick him and Sammy up because he was just a kid and this was too much.

But he got through it. With the work, with Dad, and the niggling fear slowly went away. Life went back to what passed for normal.

Until he came back to the motel room that served as their home base and found Dad gone. Found out Dad had been gone for a long time, probably since the day after he sent Dean to look into that haunted field just outside of Little Rock, Arkansas. And he'd left his book.

Dean didn't know how, but he knew this was the time. Dad wasn't coming back. But this time, he wasn't a traumatized five year old kid. So he did now what he'd wanted to do then and started looking.

The hunt didn't lead where he expected. Instead of Dad, he got Sammy. And under circumstances that Dean would never have wanted.

And still, the same questions pop up every couple of days. "Why did Dad leave? Why do you blindly go where he tells us?" and on and on and on.

It's after the shadow demons that Sam asks one too many times. Dean still has enough big brother protection left in him to keep him from telling Sam anything about it. Instead, he leaves Sam at the motel, takes the car and finds the first bar he can. It's too close to the motel, Sam might come after him. So he drives on further to the next town and walks into the bar there.

Two hours later, he's as shit-faced as he's ever been. The place is pretty dead. Dean's almost surprised it's open on a Sunday night. The bartender is pretty hot and Dean's feeling pretty talkative. So when she asks "What's wrong?", Dean tells her. Unvarnished truth minus the things that go bump in the night. It shuts her up. It would shut Sam up too. Two cups of coffee later and a long stretch of highway, Dean vows to keep those memories locked up in his head where they've been for twenty years. No good can come of the memories.

_They go to visit the Grannas the day that Dean turns five. It's supposed to be his birthday gift and he's happy enough to go except that Sammy's coming too. Gramma and Ganpa always gravitate towards Sammy since he was born. Dad says it's cause he's new, and that the novelty's surely worn off by now. He tries to make Dean smile after he's latched Sammy's carrier into the front seat of the Chevy with the thought that maybe Ganpa Winchester has finished the rope swing they'd talked about last summer._

_Dean maintains his silence and just stares out the window._

_He doesn't remember the cake very well or what else they did that afternoon. It's all erased by the blinding feeling that something's wrong. It's almost as bad as that night. Dean pushes that memory away and pounds away from Gramma's side searching. His dad always knows what to do when something goes wrong._

_Except he can't find him. Dad's not in the house. Dean whips by Ganpa, ignores the order to not run in the house, and bangs out the screen door just in time to see the Chevy pull out of the driveway. _

_Dean jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder, but the hand pulls him close to Ganpa. "It's okay, son. He'll be back. You're dad just needed a break. Think of it as an adventure like when you stayed with us when Sammy was born."_

_Dean doesn't let the tears fall. Dad's said often enough that big boys don't cry. He has to be strong. For Sammy._

_The summer stretches on and every day, Dean checks the driveway first thing. But the Chevy is never there and there's always chores around the house to do. As fall starts, Gramma makes noises about enrolling Dean in school. Dean nods and does what he's asked. Maybe if he's extra good, Dad will come back. _

_Then the winter passes and soon an entire year is gone. Then Dean is busy with helping Sammy learn to walk and teaching him his first words and crawling around to find what little hole his brother found this time to hide in while his grandmother goes frantic with worry that this will be the time the toddler gets hurt in his exploration._

_Then one day, Dean sees what he stopped looking for when he's walking Sammy home from pre-school. The familiar black gleam of Dad's beloved Chevy Impala. He's so excited that he almost drops Sammy's hand and runs the entire way home. Instead, he picks his brother up like a sack of potatoes and then runs as fast as he can while ignoring Sammy's cries of complaint._

_Dad smiles when he sees them. Dean does too. He thinks it's the happiest day of his life._

_Except he hears the argument outside while he works inside helping Gramma with dinner. Dad and Ganpa have never fought before. It's loud. And scary. What if Granpa says something that makes Dad go away and never come back?_

_Ten minutes later, Dad enters the house noisily. Gramma chastises him for slamming the door. He ignores her._

_"Dean, go get your and Sammy's things," Dad orders. Dean's eyes go wide, but he doesn't argue. He never argues with a thing his dad says after that._

_He doesn't ever want to be left behind again.  
_


End file.
